Gas Giveaway

The fabulous Shasta at My Blonde Reality is giving away GAS! The $100 gas card would be amazing to win! That would almost cover my gas budget for the whole summer! Good luck to any and all who enter!

Finally someone understands...

Fabulously Broke did an amazing post this morning "In Defense of the Rich".

I have read FB's blog as long as I have had this blog (~two years) and I can say without a doubt this was the best post I have ever read by her. And she has many great posts.

She discusses why all of us need to stop being jealous (ring a bell?) of rich people and people who have worked hard their entire lives to make it to where they are today. I encourage everyone to please read her post, and then read my additional comments below.

FB mentions that yes, there are people out there who need the millions many have lost to the economy this year. But then she is smart enough to follow the thought all the way through and say "the people who need it didn't work for it." Way to go FB. Most of the time people just stop after deciding people need it, and forget that yes, while they need it, it isn't theirs to have.

Thank you for being strong enough to admit you're jealous of the rich. Because you can admit it, I think you are also probably strong enough to one day become rich. Rather than just sit around and hate rich people, everyone should be strong enough to admit they want what others have, and then go out and get it.

It does suck to pay more taxes just because you make more money. Just plain sucks.

We do want more rich people in society. It is very hypocritical that rather than help the rich we just tax them and punish them, forcing them to put their money in offshore accounts and move to other more wealth-friendly countries. It happens more than many think. I know the argument that by taking from the rich to give to the poor, we will be making more people richer. However, I see it as "We are making the poor people rich and the rich people poor." There is no net increase when the two groups just switch places.

It is ridiculous how much people take for granted what the rich do. Rather than appreciate a donation by sending a thank you note, charities' first priority after receiving money is to put the giver's name on a list to make sure they get called again year-after-year in hopes they will give more. Disgusting.

It is sick the way people in general treat the wealthy. They say they are disgusting, all the while hoping someday they will make the big bucks and live the same lives. And not donate a dime of it to charity.

My response to those who say, "You need to help more, you're rich!"? You first. And no, just because you don't have money doesn't mean you can't help. Donate a Saturday at the local food shelter or go clean up trash on the highway. If I need to help so do you.

Thanks again FB for such a great post.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, unless they disagree with Perez!

The scandal surrounding Miss California and her answer to a question on gay marriage posed by Perez Hilton last night at the Miss USA pageant has really upset me.

For the record: I do not support gay marriage. I was raised to believe marriage is between and man and a woman, much like Miss California, and I will stay that way. I have no qualms with people who chose to lead a gay lifestyle, and even believe they should be able to adopt children and enjoy tax breaks, but marriage is a religious ceremony that I don't believe can be entered into by a man and a man or a woman and a woman. It's my opinion, take it or leave it.

With that said, it is not because I support Miss California that I am so upset at the way she has been treated by bloggers like Perez. It really irks me that in a country where people such as Perez tout all the time they have rights to freedom of speech and belief they are so quick to shut down any beliefs that aren't exactly in line with their own.

They stand up for their beliefs every day, but when someone else does, they call her a "dumb bitch" and post entire videos of what her response "should have been".

I understand that Perez was a judge, and he therefore has every right to take away her crown if he doesn't feel her answer is what a Miss USA should believe. But then to continue the public lambasting past that is unacceptable. Let her have her views, just like we all let you have yours. Maybe, instead of defaming her, you could appreciate her for what she is: A person who stood up for her beliefs, no matter what the consequences may be (I'm sure she knew when she gave her answer to a gay judge, she wouldn't be gaining any points to win a competition she had prepared her whole life for).

That is someone we all can admire.



P.S. I'm sure that if she had given a pro-gay marriage answer and won the competition, and then this morning a network such as FoxNews had suggested maybe Miss USA shouldn't politicize her interview answers (as Perez Hilton is slamming her for), everyone would be lambasting FoxNews for their reaction. People like Perez only want to "depoliticize" things when the political answer isn't what they want to hear.

The War Against My Skin

This post was inspired by a great new blog I am reading, Bergdorf Blonde. I read the book and loved it, and while the blog is just inspired by the book, it is just as fantastic! Shasta is giving away a Clairisonic skin care brush, and at the risk of giving myself more competition, here is the link.

The reason I am so excited about the giveaway (and hopefully winning) is because for the past 8 or so years of my life I have been in a constant battle against my skin. Nothing seems to work for me. When I was younger I tried the drug stores options, such a neutrogena, clearsil, clean and clear, etc., etc. Some of it worked alright, others didn't, but as I got older and my acne got worse, nothing helped.

I tried Proactive (nope) and other options like it. I thought I had found something finally in the University AcneFree, until my skin started peeling off in huge pieces. It was not pretty.

I have talked with counter girls in department stores who have offered everything from special soaps to home remedies. A facialist I saw once offered to help, but at $90 a pop it's not affordable (yet). I have considered going to a dermatologist, but my friends who have been tell me my skin is only bad enough to warrant the birth control pill, which I'm already on.

My main issue is my lack of patience. If a product isn't working after a few days, I stop using it. I know this is bad, and I should give it a few weeks, but washing my face and taking care of my skin is not something I have ever let become a habit or really wanted to do. I'm sure if I could regularly start washing my face a lot of my problems would go away.

Problem number two? BF. I hate to blame things on him, but when I spend almost all of my nights over there, and when he has a roommate that wouldn't appreciate my skin care products taking up space on the sink, and when BF's apartment is so disgusting I try to avoid the bathroom at all costs anyway, it can be hard to keep up a regular skin care regimen.

All of that is about to change however, as BF is looking for a new apartment to live in on his own! I am so excited my BF is finally growing up, looking for a nice place, and offering me a key! Now maybe I can finally have a drink of water in his home before I go to bed without fear of having to walk into the mildew-encrusted bathroom the next morning. Yes. It's that bad.

Response to SuSu and New Blog Comment Policy

Alright, so this is it. Then I am moving on for my own mental sanity. And frankly, for all of these commenters' mental sanity, I think y'all should move on or stop reading my blog too.

SuSu wants to know, like so many others have asked in the past, why I want to be a trophy wife. The bitchy and unstable part of me wants to tell her to read the blog just a bit and she will find out, but the nice person I have decided to be today will go over this ONE MORE TIME.

First I am going to direct anyone and everyone to my guest post at Living Almost Large. It gives a complete response to that question in a thoughtful, well-written, and clear way.

To explain further however, yes SuSu, you are right. I am a bright, college-educated woman with a lot of skills and opinions to offer to the world. For instance, the ones on this blog which you seem to take so much offense to. I do not consider my life choices "selling out for a few diamonds" but rather one of many many goals I have for my future.

I am aware of the divorce rate, and I am also aware of what it is like to grow up in a broken family, seeing as how my parents are divorced and my step-family is more dysfunctional than most people can dream (something else you would have found out if you had taken a bit of time to go through some old posts.) So please, do not lecture me on divorce or poor children with two houses. I'm aware. I know more than most.

You're also right, there is more to life than dinners and handbags. I understand that, and that's why my idea of a "trophy wife" includes a lot more than just all the shoes I can buy. In fact, if what you say about your life is true (volunteering and working from home), it sounds a lot like my idea of my future. I would love to not have to work, but choose to freelance write for fun and enjoyment (and a pretty paycheck), while also taking care of my responsibilities to my children and volunteer opportunities.

The final reason why I want to be a trophy wife? I JUST DO! I think it would be fun. Maybe it will, maybe it wont, but that's my business, and I never asked for your advice. Just like I don't understand why people want to major in math, or miss their children's early years for a job, you don't have to understand my goals and aspirations. But just because you don't understand them doesn't give you the right to insult or even criticize them.

You are also right that I need to learn how to deal with criticism on my blog. Which is why I have now created my new blog comment policy:

I will always accept constructive criticisms or differing opinions about the opinions I express in this blog. I will not however, accept attacks on other people (such as my family or boyfriend), or particularly nasty or name-calling attacks on myself. I will not accept spam. If you feel the need to respond with your opinion, I only ask that you will respect mine. I don't force you to read this blog, and you are more than welcome to stop at any time if you feel offended or insulted. I do apologize if something written here offends, and if you would like to have a civil conversation on the topic, I welcome civil comments or emails.

I am not going to take the step just yet of setting my comments to go immediately to my inbox before they appear, and hope I don't end up enforcing this policy enough to warrant that. But please be aware, you may be deleted.

Nasty Commenters

This is my first real experience with nasty and mean commenters.

Part of me feels proud in that I can elicit such responses out of people. My old editor told me once the day she got a letter from a reader asking her if she had to take all the mirrors out of her house because there is no way she could be able to look at herself everyday (Yes, this woman was PISSED about coverage of a recent story), was the day she knew she had made it in the journalism world. I am a supporter of any PR is good PR, and if someone out there cares enough about my comments to retaliate against them, well, at least they care.

I normally try to just brush them off and let people say what they want to say, just like I get to say what I want to say, but the personal attacks have really been hitting me hard. I'm not sure if it is my lessened mental capacity as of late (more on that tomorrow) or just that the comments have been so much worse, but I felt the need to at least defend myself and, in one comment I will probably regret, name call back.

I'm not really sure if I should feel bad about this or not. What do other people think? How do you respond to nasty comments?

You Would Do It Too

"No more will the world's financial players be able to make risky bets at the expense of ordinary people."

This comment, made by President Obama this morning while he spoke in France, is a perfect example of what annoys me most right now.

I will admit my bias of dating a "financial player", and concede my view may be tainted, but I also believe because I am personally involved and dependent upon what Obama does to the financial industry, I can provide a different view from the negativity the media is currently engaged in.

Let me preface this by saying: I understand there were a few (yes, only a FEW) people who did very irresponsible and unseemly deeds. They were greedy and spiteful, yes.

But here is what I have to say to all the critic of our financial system and "bankers" (it is turning into a four-letter word a bit more every day) who cry "SHAME" from the rooftops: You would have done it too.

That's right, you would have been just as greedy. And you know it. You know it because before the economic crisis, you were jealous of it. Yes that's right, you were jealous of them. All the evidence you need to prove this is a quick look at a TV Guide or a pop culture magazine. TV shows like "Gossip Girl" and "Mad Men", and cultural icons such as Tinsley Mortimor and Paris Hilton show the infatuation of this country with the high-class and well-off. We want to be just like them.

But of course, without a bachelor's degree in finance and a professional poker player's degree in luck, none of us were going to be the next Bernie Madoff anytime soon. (Here's another great example of our infatuation: millions of people clamoring to join an investment which was so obviously fraudulent.) So our jealously and infatuation turned to hate and spite.

Then, for all of those green-eyed monsters, the best possible situation came along. A financial crisis that we can blame on the finance guys we wished we could be back in college? You can almost hear the shouts of joy.

It didn't take long for everyone to jump on the anti-finance bandwagon. Instead of "I Hate Bush" the bumper stickers on the back of cars have been changed to "I Hate Bankers". Any member of the media with some space to fill can quickly write up a column on how shameful the bankers are for their undeserved bonuses and outrageous expense accounts. Take this blog by Minneapolis-St. Paul Magazine Editor Adam Platt, who lambasts NYC corporations for allowing the New York Yankees to think they could charge over $2,500 a ticket for lower-level seats at the new stadium. A $10,000 day at the ballpark paid with the expense account? Better get your pitchforks ready.

I agree corporations spending five-figures to go to a Yankees game may be a bit outlandish. But they worked hard for it. All of the money didn't just appear out of thin-air. And the larger fact of the matter is, Mr. Platt, please don't pretend that if Minneapolis-St. Paul Communications decided to buy season tickets to the Yankees and airfare to every game, you wouldn't be on the next flight. You would do it too.

I understand the anger and the outrage. But I am sick of the "holier-than-thou, you should be ashamed of yourself" attitudes radiating out of every open mouth. You would do it in a heartbeat. All of the folks at AIG worked for their bonuses. Ask their wives and children how much they saw their husbands or fathers last year; I bet it wasn't more than two hours (if that) a night and maybe one six hour day on the weekend (if they were lucky). As much as some would like to believe the top of the corporate ladder is all golf trips and yacht cruising, it's not, and the lower rungs are filled with more work than "ordinary people" do in a lifetime.

The biggest hypocrite in the whole ordeal is of course, the United States Federal Government. After years of begging banks to take on sub-prime mortgages and taking money from these "greed-mongers" to fuel their campaigns, they are now the first people to scream how banks screwed "ordinary Americans" out of their homes and livelihoods. I think it's time for a look in the mirror Barney Frank, and I guarantee it's not AIG looking back.

The witch-hunt against those in the financial sector needs to stop. Yes, mistakes were made and some (the Bernie Madoffs and Tom Petters of the world) were malicious. But most were just hard-working Americans who finally found success and gasp, wanted to enjoy it. Stop pretending anyone wouldn't do the same.